Getting Started
Think of a time you discovered that a good friend or family member held a view — about politics, sport, or even faith — that surprised you. How did you handle it, and what did it do to the relationship?
Read the Word
John 13:34-35 — “A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Acts 15:1-2, 6-11, 28-29 — “Certain people came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the believers: ‘Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved.’ This brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them. So Paul and Barnabas were appointed, along with some other believers, to go up to Jerusalem to see the apostles and elders about this question… The apostles and elders met to consider this question. After much discussion, Peter got up and addressed them: ‘Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. He did not discriminate between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith. Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear? No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.’… It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things.”
Romans 14:1, 17 — “Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarrelling over disputable matters… For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”
These passages trace a single thread across the New Testament: what genuinely holds the church together when its members see things differently. The answer shapes everything about how we relate to one another.
Going Deeper
John 13 sits inside what scholars call the Farewell Discourse — Jesus’ final conversation with his disciples on the night before his crucifixion. His command to love one another is deliberately framed as new. The Greek word is kainos, meaning fresh in quality rather than just recent in time. The Law already commanded love of neighbour (Leviticus 19:18), so what makes this new? The standard. Jesus says “as I have loved you” — a self-giving, cross-shaped love that goes far beyond what even the best human friendship manages. And the purpose is strikingly outward-facing: this love is a witness to the watching world. It is the primary sign that someone belongs to Jesus.
Acts 15 records what historians call the Jerusalem Council, around AD 49, and it is one of the most consequential meetings in Christian history. The tension was real and the stakes were high. Jewish believers had built their entire identity around the Mosaic Law — circumcision, dietary rules, the calendar of feasts. Gentile converts had none of that background, yet the Holy Spirit was unmistakably at work among them. So the question on the table was not trivial: does following Jesus require adopting the full framework of Jewish observance?
Notice how the council works through it. There is “sharp dispute” — this is not a polite seminar. But rather than splitting, they stay in the room. Peter appeals to direct experience: God gave the Gentiles the Holy Spirit without requiring law-keeping first, which means grace through faith is the ground of salvation, not cultural or religious performance. Paul and Barnabas add testimony of signs and wonders among the Gentiles. James grounds the conclusion in scripture, quoting Amos 9. The outcome is a careful distinction: some things are essential (the gospel itself, and basic moral boundaries that protected the community’s integrity), and some things are not. They do not make it “difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God.”
Paul carries exactly this logic into Romans 14, where the Roman church is squabbling over food and holy days. His category of “disputable matters” is enormously helpful. These are things on which faithful, sincere Christians can reach different conclusions from the same scriptures. His verdict is not that the questions do not matter, but that they must not be allowed to fracture the family, because “the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”
A useful framework for navigating all of this draws three circles. The first is dogma — the non-negotiables confessed by Christians in every age and every culture: the Trinity, the full humanity and full divinity of Christ, his bodily resurrection, salvation by grace through faith, the authority of scripture. Get these wrong and you have stepped outside of orthodox Christianity. The ancient creeds — the Apostles’ Creed, the Nicene Creed — crystallised these convictions precisely because they were contested. The second circle is doctrine — the areas where faithful Christians, reading the same Bible carefully, have landed in different places: how and when to baptise, how church leadership is structured, how to understand the gifts of the Spirit, how to read the end times. These differences gave rise to denominations, and while denominations are not the ideal, they need not be a scandal. The third circle is opinion — matters of preference and practice that are sometimes mistaken for doctrine: musical style, Bible translation, how someone structures their personal prayer life. Treating an opinion as though it were dogma is where communities fracture unnecessarily.
The test that holds all three circles together is the one Paul articulates in 1 Corinthians 2:2 and Colossians 1:18: is Jesus crucified, risen, and reigning at the centre? Any teaching, practice, or community voice that keeps drawing people back to him is on solid ground. Anything that nudges him to the edge and installs something else — a personality, a method, a cultural preference — in his place deserves scrutiny.
Discussion
- Looking at Acts 15, what strikes you about the process the Jerusalem church used to work through their disagreement? What made it possible for them to stay together rather than split?
- Peter’s argument in verses 8-11 rests entirely on what God had already done, not on what the Gentiles had achieved. Why is that distinction so significant for how the church handles differences today?
- The sermon distinguished dogma, doctrine, and opinion. Can you think of a time when you treated something that was really an opinion as though it were dogma? What was the effect on your relationships with other believers?
- Jesus says the world will recognise his disciples by their love for one another — not by their theological precision or their worship style. What does that actually look like in a week of ordinary life? Where is it hardest to live out?
- Romans 14:17 says the kingdom of God is about “righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” In your own experience, what tends to crowd those things out — and what tends to produce them?
- The Bereans examined the scriptures daily to test even Paul’s teaching (Acts 17:11). How do you currently weigh the voices that shape your faith? What habits help you hold good teaching and release what is not useful?
- Where in your own heart is it hardest to extend grace to a Christian who sees something differently from you? What do you think is underneath that difficulty?
Living It Out
- Read slowly. This week, work through John 13:31-35, Acts 15, and Romans 14 in one sitting. As you read, ask honestly: which of my current convictions belong in the dogma circle, which in doctrine, and which are really just preferences? Jot down anything that surprises you.
- Practise staying in the room. If there is a relationship in your church life where a difference of opinion has created distance, take a step towards that person this week — a coffee, a message, a deliberate act of kindness. You do not need to resolve the disagreement; you need to reaffirm the relationship.
- Check what is at the centre. Think about the main voices shaping your faith right now — podcasts, books, social media, Sunday sermons. Ask the question from 1 Thessalonians 5:21: are they drawing me back to Jesus crucified, risen, and reigning? Test them, hold on to what is good, and be honest if something needs to be set aside.
Prayer
Close by praying together in two movements. First, thank God that unity in the church is grounded in his love for us in Christ, not in our ability to agree on everything. Second, ask the Holy Spirit to show each person where they need to extend grace — whether to a fellow believer whose views frustrate them, or to themselves for a place where they have confused preference with principle. Pray that Jesus would be visibly at the centre of this church community, and that the watching world would see it.
Leader Notes
Timing. The Getting Started question can run a little long if the group is talkative — keep it to two or three minutes so you have enough time for Discussion questions 4 and 7, which are the ones most likely to produce genuine heart-level engagement. If time is short, prioritise questions 1, 4, and 7 and let the others go.
The dogma/doctrine/opinion framework. Most groups will find this genuinely helpful, but some people will immediately start debating which circle a particular belief belongs in. That is actually a good instinct, but redirect it: the goal in this study is not to resolve every classification but to establish that the circles exist and that love governs how we handle disagreement across all three.
Question 7 needs pastoral care. People may name real hurt — a church split, a broken friendship, a community they left or were pushed out of. Create space for that without letting it become a grievance session. The frame to return to is Acts 15: sharp disagreement is acknowledged, not minimised, but the council stayed together and found a way forward. Ask what made that possible rather than dwelling on the pain of past fractures.
If your group is fairly new to thinking about denominations, it may be worth spending a moment on the Apostles’ Creed as a concrete example of dogma — either reading it aloud together or having it available for people to look at. It makes the category feel real rather than abstract.
The communion reflection from Emily pairs naturally with this study if your group wants to begin with a moment of quiet reception rather than jumping straight into discussion. The Mary and Martha story she referenced (Luke 10:38-42) is worth mentioning as background: the posture of receiving from Jesus is what makes generous, gracious community life possible in the first place.